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05-29-2006 11:55 AM
If
you fit into the above category, then heed these words carefully. I
cannot stress them enough. Do not eat a caramel slice from Starbucks. I
shall repeat them each once, to try and emphasise how important this
is. Do. Not. Eat. A. Caramel. Slice. From. Starbucks. Got it? Good.
Now, let me explain why. There I was. In the city. My friend was
feeling a bit peckish, and, seeing as I didn't have any idea where we
should go, he suggested Starbucks Coffee. Thus we went there, and we
made our respective orders. I with my Grande Coffee Frappuccino and
Caramel Slice, and he with his Venti Coffee Frappuccino. We ventured up
the gigantic staircase, and, upon finding that the top floor was
completely full, we made our way back down the gigantic staircase. We
finally managed to secure ourselves a micro table, and sat down. I took
a big strawful of Coffee Frappuccino. Mmmm, delicious, was what my
brain was telling me. It was damn right. I opened the little paper bag
containing the Caramel Slice which had looked so tantalising sitting
there among a big pile of it's Caramel Slice brethren. I removed it,
and observed it from all sides, slowly taking in the scent of the
dainty little treat which was covertly going to ruin my palate for the
rest of the day, not to mention my sense of direction. I told my friend
to take his half of the slice, as I was under the assumption that if I
bought it, he would share it with me. Apparently I was wrong to assume
such a heinous thing. I broke off a small piece, measuring
approximately one centimeter by seven millimeters. I inserted the
seemingly harmless morsel into my mouth, and crushed it between my
teeth. This was the beginning of the wildest ride of my life (at least,
the wildest confectionery induced ride). As I chewed, the caramel began
to ooze its way around my mouth. I felt an instant rush that can only
be followed by intense difficulty to function properly. I had to
quickly rush an entire gulpful of Coffee Frappuccino, before the sugar
demons that I had unleased took over my nervous system and brought me
to a mere 'vegetative' state). Luckily for me, the gulp did it, and I
was back to myself, and coherent as usual. Foolishly, I decided to have
more. I will spare you from the gruesome details, but suffice to say, I
finished the whole slice by myself (I am not one to waste $3.50), and
was completely fuc- I mean, 'messed' up. When we eventually decided to
leave the cafe (if you can call a place that sells the Caramel Slices
from hell a 'cafe'), I was in quite possibly the worst state a candy
can put you in. My friend exited the shop first, and myself, not
noticing the step between the doorway and the pavement outside,
completely missed the gap and nearly fell over. It was embarassing, to
say the least, but I am under the belief that only a few people saw me
(although due to my altered state of consciousness, I cannot be sure).
This all occured at around 3:30PM, EST, and even now I am feeling the
pain of the abuse my body took. I am under the assumption that those
Caramel Slices are capable of killing a child under the age of 13. I am
hereby warning every reader that excess consumption, nay, any
consumption of Starbucks' Caramel Slices can be potentially fatal to
anybody who eats it, and those who do
eat it will most definitely feel the blow that is akin to being punched
in the face by a bulldozer, only to find that this bulldozer also has
metal spikes on it, aswell as a flamethrower and a weird strain of
teargas that distorts your vision, and decreases your chances of
walking in a near straight line. So, I just want to wish you all a
great day, but those of you who decide it'll be cool to try a Starbucks
Caramel Slice because they were talked about on the internet, may I
just say that you were warned.
Thankyou.
*convulses violently*
If
you fit into the above category, then heed these words carefully. I
cannot stress them enough. Do not eat a caramel slice from Starbucks. I
shall repeat them each once, to try and emphasise how important this
is. Do. Not. Eat. A. Caramel. Slice. From. Starbucks. Got it? Good.
Now, let me explain why. There I was. In the city. My friend was
feeling a bit peckish, and, seeing as I didn't have any idea where we
should go, he suggested Starbucks Coffee. Thus we went there, and we
made our respective orders. I with my Grande Coffee Frappuccino and
Caramel Slice, and he with his Venti Coffee Frappuccino. We ventured up
the gigantic staircase, and, upon finding that the top floor was
completely full, we made our way back down the gigantic staircase. We
finally managed to secure ourselves a micro table, and sat down. I took
a big strawful of Coffee Frappuccino. Mmmm, delicious, was what my
brain was telling me. It was damn right. I opened the little paper bag
containing the Caramel Slice which had looked so tantalising sitting
there among a big pile of it's Caramel Slice brethren. I removed it,
and observed it from all sides, slowly taking in the scent of the
dainty little treat which was covertly going to ruin my palate for the
rest of the day, not to mention my sense of direction. I told my friend
to take his half of the slice, as I was under the assumption that if I
bought it, he would share it with me. Apparently I was wrong to assume
such a heinous thing. I broke off a small piece, measuring
approximately one centimeter by seven millimeters. I inserted the
seemingly harmless morsel into my mouth, and crushed it between my
teeth. This was the beginning of the wildest ride of my life (at least,
the wildest confectionery induced ride). As I chewed, the caramel began
to ooze its way around my mouth. I felt an instant rush that can only
be followed by intense difficulty to function properly. I had to
quickly rush an entire gulpful of Coffee Frappuccino, before the sugar
demons that I had unleased took over my nervous system and brought me
to a mere 'vegetative' state). Luckily for me, the gulp did it, and I
was back to myself, and coherent as usual. Foolishly, I decided to have
more. I will spare you from the gruesome details, but suffice to say, I
finished the whole slice by myself (I am not one to waste $3.50), and
was completely fuc- I mean, 'messed' up. When we eventually decided to
leave the cafe (if you can call a place that sells the Caramel Slices
from hell a 'cafe'), I was in quite possibly the worst state a candy
can put you in. My friend exited the shop first, and myself, not
noticing the step between the doorway and the pavement outside,
completely missed the gap and nearly fell over. It was embarassing, to
say the least, but I am under the belief that only a few people saw me
(although due to my altered state of consciousness, I cannot be sure).
This all occured at around 3:30PM, EST, and even now I am feeling the
pain of the abuse my body took. I am under the assumption that those
Caramel Slices are capable of killing a child under the age of 13. I am
hereby warning every reader that excess consumption, nay, any
consumption of Starbucks' Caramel Slices can be potentially fatal to
anybody who eats it, and those who do
eat it will most definitely feel the blow that is akin to being punched
in the face by a bulldozer, only to find that this bulldozer also has
metal spikes on it, aswell as a flamethrower and a weird strain of
teargas that distorts your vision, and decreases your chances of
walking in a near straight line. So, I just want to wish you all a
great day, but those of you who decide it'll be cool to try a Starbucks
Caramel Slice because they were talked about on the internet, may I
just say that you were warned.
Thankyou.
*convulses violently*
0 Comments
05-29-2006 11:55 AM
What
is this city? That is the question that is probably sitting in your
mind right now, unless you are a person that knows me in real life
(because then it would be blatantly obvious by now). That city is New
York City. Ah yes, the times I have spent there (both in my dreams, and
in real life)... Brings back memories. I remember the night my parents
told me about our holiday I was ecstatic to hear that we were going to
be going to New York City. See, for those who didn't already know this,
I have always fantasised about going to New York City, it has always
fascinated me. Let's examine why. Keep in mind that I am probably just
going to go from random point to random point right now, due to my lack
of patience to explain things. New York City is just about as diverse
as you can get. I am under the belief that there is a home for every
ethnicity and religion in just this one city alone. The public
transport system there is very efficient (particularly on Manhattan
Island, but also including the other boroughs), at least compared to
Melbourne's standards. It is a very exciting place, where there is
always something to do, and interesting people to meet. We were there
for just 4 nights, yet I had one of the best times in my life. Maybe it
is just that I have always been attracted to living in a dense
city/skyscraper environment, but I'm sure that others will agree that
the view from anywhere (including the ground) in this city is
breathtaking. Maybe I am just obsessed though... Another thing to note
(which is extremely important) is that McDonalds (which, of course, is
American) delivers! As in, delivers to your home. Tell me that isn't
awesome. New York City is a city with an extremely friendly populace,
which is quite the contrary to the stereotypical image of angry people
all the time, high crime rates, etc. While we were there, every person
we met was extremely friendly, helpful, and genuinely interested in our
wellbeing. Which may sound stupid, but trust me, it's not. One downside
is their subway system. Not because it is inefficient, god no, but
because it is so damn hard to understand. But I'm sure after a while
one would get used to that and be able to figure it out, so thats ok.
Im sure there is much more to be said about this amazing city, but
right now I am too lazy to think too much, so those things may just be
published in future posts of mine. I will end this post by saying;
Everybody,
go to New York City once in your life. Just to see what it is like. And
also to get McDonalds delivered to you, which is awesome. I know I will
be going back.
Thank You.
ps. The pizzas are freakin huge in NYC.
pps. Brooklyn is also cool, and the walk across the Brooklyn Bridge is phenomenal.
ppps. If you are going to live there, don't even bother buying a car, it's pointless.
pppps. Don't buy a video camera there, they are expensive.
Thanks again.
What
is this city? That is the question that is probably sitting in your
mind right now, unless you are a person that knows me in real life
(because then it would be blatantly obvious by now). That city is New
York City. Ah yes, the times I have spent there (both in my dreams, and
in real life)... Brings back memories. I remember the night my parents
told me about our holiday I was ecstatic to hear that we were going to
be going to New York City. See, for those who didn't already know this,
I have always fantasised about going to New York City, it has always
fascinated me. Let's examine why. Keep in mind that I am probably just
going to go from random point to random point right now, due to my lack
of patience to explain things. New York City is just about as diverse
as you can get. I am under the belief that there is a home for every
ethnicity and religion in just this one city alone. The public
transport system there is very efficient (particularly on Manhattan
Island, but also including the other boroughs), at least compared to
Melbourne's standards. It is a very exciting place, where there is
always something to do, and interesting people to meet. We were there
for just 4 nights, yet I had one of the best times in my life. Maybe it
is just that I have always been attracted to living in a dense
city/skyscraper environment, but I'm sure that others will agree that
the view from anywhere (including the ground) in this city is
breathtaking. Maybe I am just obsessed though... Another thing to note
(which is extremely important) is that McDonalds (which, of course, is
American) delivers! As in, delivers to your home. Tell me that isn't
awesome. New York City is a city with an extremely friendly populace,
which is quite the contrary to the stereotypical image of angry people
all the time, high crime rates, etc. While we were there, every person
we met was extremely friendly, helpful, and genuinely interested in our
wellbeing. Which may sound stupid, but trust me, it's not. One downside
is their subway system. Not because it is inefficient, god no, but
because it is so damn hard to understand. But I'm sure after a while
one would get used to that and be able to figure it out, so thats ok.
Im sure there is much more to be said about this amazing city, but
right now I am too lazy to think too much, so those things may just be
published in future posts of mine. I will end this post by saying;
Everybody,
go to New York City once in your life. Just to see what it is like. And
also to get McDonalds delivered to you, which is awesome. I know I will
be going back.
Thank You.
ps. The pizzas are freakin huge in NYC.
pps. Brooklyn is also cool, and the walk across the Brooklyn Bridge is phenomenal.
ppps. If you are going to live there, don't even bother buying a car, it's pointless.
pppps. Don't buy a video camera there, they are expensive.
Thanks again.
0 Comments
05-29-2006 11:54 AM
Well, there isn't much to be said, especially after you have read the
excellent title, but let me just reinforce what I said. It tastes
awful. Terrible even! I bet you want to know how it happened. Well,
probably not. But I'll tell ya anyway, its up to you if you read on
from here. So basically, I was playing with my Zippo lighter. You know
how it is. Or do you? It decided that it wouldn't light for me anymore.
What good is a lighter without fire? No good, thats what good it is.
Now, how would one go about rectifying this situation? Any normal
person would simply put their lighter down, patiently think about what
they were doing, and then deal with the situation. I went straight for
my refill bottle, and got to work on refilling the lighter. One minute,
and a few millilitres of spilt lighter fluid later, and it was ready to
go. Now, as any person who knows me knows, I have a tendency to bite my
nails. I also have a particular tendency to do so just before I play
with my trusty Zippo. So I bit my nails. Turned out I had also spilt a
decent quantity of lighter fuel on my hand. The taste that filled my
mouth was nasty, and made me contemplate vomiting. Luckily, I don't
like vomiting, and neither does my body, so that didn't happen, but it was
a close call, thats for shizzle. Anyways, then I washed away the taste
with a nice homemade Iced Coffee, courtesy of myself. And mmmmmm was it
tasty.
Thank You.
Well, there isn't much to be said, especially after you have read the
excellent title, but let me just reinforce what I said. It tastes
awful. Terrible even! I bet you want to know how it happened. Well,
probably not. But I'll tell ya anyway, its up to you if you read on
from here. So basically, I was playing with my Zippo lighter. You know
how it is. Or do you? It decided that it wouldn't light for me anymore.
What good is a lighter without fire? No good, thats what good it is.
Now, how would one go about rectifying this situation? Any normal
person would simply put their lighter down, patiently think about what
they were doing, and then deal with the situation. I went straight for
my refill bottle, and got to work on refilling the lighter. One minute,
and a few millilitres of spilt lighter fluid later, and it was ready to
go. Now, as any person who knows me knows, I have a tendency to bite my
nails. I also have a particular tendency to do so just before I play
with my trusty Zippo. So I bit my nails. Turned out I had also spilt a
decent quantity of lighter fuel on my hand. The taste that filled my
mouth was nasty, and made me contemplate vomiting. Luckily, I don't
like vomiting, and neither does my body, so that didn't happen, but it was
a close call, thats for shizzle. Anyways, then I washed away the taste
with a nice homemade Iced Coffee, courtesy of myself. And mmmmmm was it
tasty.
Thank You.
0 Comments
05-29-2006 11:54 AM
So.
I don't know if you have noticed it yet, but everyone else sure has.
Noticed what you may ask (although you probably aren't asking due to
the fact that you most likely read the title of this post)? I am
talking about tight black jeans. Not your everyday, run-of-the-mill
tight black jeans which used to be cool (back in the day). No, I am
talking about the tight black jeans that make your eyes want to bleed
at every chance they get. I am talking about wannabe emo jeans. The
kind a boy steals from his sister who is 2 years younger than him, and
about 30 kgs thinner. The kind that you can find in any Target or
K-Mart because it is simply their job to cater for the masses of teeny
bopper lamers that just want to 'fit in' with the trends nowadays. As
you may well know, there is a scapegoat for all this. I haven't found
him/her/them yet, but rest assured that when (read: if) I find them,
they will be dealt with severely. But for the meantime? What are we
supposed to do when we are shopping around trying to find a decent item
of clothing and we suddenly see a group of 13 year olds running around
with piercings through their lips, and bad poetry falling out of their
pockets? That is the question I pose to you today. Something must be
done, and fast! Here was my first idea: we somehow kidnap every single
kid who fits the stereotypical image of 'teeny bopper/wannabe emo' and
"get rid" of them. Then I realised, instead of doing that, we could
actually solve the problem instead of just feebly attempting to get rid
of it. Unfortunately, the task of thinking up a solution is more than
my brain can tackle at this moment, what with school and other
extrenuating factors. So come on brethren! Let us rid ourselves of the
tight black jeans, and perhaps save society from imploding.
So.
I don't know if you have noticed it yet, but everyone else sure has.
Noticed what you may ask (although you probably aren't asking due to
the fact that you most likely read the title of this post)? I am
talking about tight black jeans. Not your everyday, run-of-the-mill
tight black jeans which used to be cool (back in the day). No, I am
talking about the tight black jeans that make your eyes want to bleed
at every chance they get. I am talking about wannabe emo jeans. The
kind a boy steals from his sister who is 2 years younger than him, and
about 30 kgs thinner. The kind that you can find in any Target or
K-Mart because it is simply their job to cater for the masses of teeny
bopper lamers that just want to 'fit in' with the trends nowadays. As
you may well know, there is a scapegoat for all this. I haven't found
him/her/them yet, but rest assured that when (read: if) I find them,
they will be dealt with severely. But for the meantime? What are we
supposed to do when we are shopping around trying to find a decent item
of clothing and we suddenly see a group of 13 year olds running around
with piercings through their lips, and bad poetry falling out of their
pockets? That is the question I pose to you today. Something must be
done, and fast! Here was my first idea: we somehow kidnap every single
kid who fits the stereotypical image of 'teeny bopper/wannabe emo' and
"get rid" of them. Then I realised, instead of doing that, we could
actually solve the problem instead of just feebly attempting to get rid
of it. Unfortunately, the task of thinking up a solution is more than
my brain can tackle at this moment, what with school and other
extrenuating factors. So come on brethren! Let us rid ourselves of the
tight black jeans, and perhaps save society from imploding.
0 Comments
05-29-2006 11:53 AM
[rant]I am so sick and tired of seeing people use incorrect grammar.
This consistent murder and mutilation of the English language is not
only an eyesore to read, it is also detrimental towards society. I know
of more than one case in which a person has actually used 'MSN Speak'
abbreviations in an actual school essay. Imagine that! A persons
potential grade is affected by the fact that they have been conditioned
to 'save time' by proving their complete and utter stupidity over the
internet. The thing that upsets me the most is that nobody can think of
a realistic, achievable solution to this problem. I'm sure there must
be a way to combat it, I just wish that I had the brains to solve it,
or the influence to change even just the people I know. But alas, no
matter how hard I try, I cannot manage this. Anyways, I don't really
believe that this post will affect anybody, or solve anything, I just
wanted to vent. And vent I have done.
Thank you.
[/rant]
[rant]I am so sick and tired of seeing people use incorrect grammar.
This consistent murder and mutilation of the English language is not
only an eyesore to read, it is also detrimental towards society. I know
of more than one case in which a person has actually used 'MSN Speak'
abbreviations in an actual school essay. Imagine that! A persons
potential grade is affected by the fact that they have been conditioned
to 'save time' by proving their complete and utter stupidity over the
internet. The thing that upsets me the most is that nobody can think of
a realistic, achievable solution to this problem. I'm sure there must
be a way to combat it, I just wish that I had the brains to solve it,
or the influence to change even just the people I know. But alas, no
matter how hard I try, I cannot manage this. Anyways, I don't really
believe that this post will affect anybody, or solve anything, I just
wanted to vent. And vent I have done.
Thank you.
[/rant]
0 Comments
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